Academy
by magewriter
Summary: Sasha's new to the academy. He meets the famed Milla Vodello, the woman who's famous before she's even graduated. Things evolve and get closer to the freaky story that we've all come to know and love. SashaMilla.
1. The Dorm Guys

Chapter 1: The Dorm Guys

Disclaimer: I don't own Sasha Nein, Milla Vodello, or some of the places, titles, and objects, but I do own the storyline, which I'm really, really having a good time with.

Rated T for the kinds of "adult themes" that immature middle or high schoolers might joke about, plus a couple of bad words that are mild compared to what you might hear in a day at my middle school. Baisically, it's as bad a rap song.

I do mean to use paragraph format. Just clearing that up before you start writing mail. That's what everyone mentioned in my last story, so… here's this one.

Sasha looked at the door, then at the piece of paper in his hand. Same number, but completely different from how he'd thought it would be. He inspected the door handle. That was "Sillystring," all right. He turned his key in the lock, sighed, and entered the room. The two psychic men inside turned to stare at him. One had light blonde, straight, slightly mussed hair and hazelly-brown eyes. The other had brown hair and green eyes. They were in mid-air, they looked like they'd been in a bit of a tousle, and they were completely surprised to see him. They were supposed to have been warned that he was coming…

"I'm Sasha Nein…" They stared at him blankly. "Your new dormitory partner."

"The brunette one (is that a masculine adjective, or just feminine?) spoke first. "The 'hot, blonde, German chick who was going to change your sex life forever'? I kept thinking, 'Oh, Joey's read her file. I'll bet he knows everything about her.' But I guess I was wrong." At that, they began wrestling again. Sasha went to his room, the only one that wasn't in complete chaos.

He was just finishing setting up his desk, feeling doomed already, hoping that he could get a transfer to a different dorm. You only _had_ to be in one dorm for a week. The Psychonauts knew that in some people, familiarity can only breed hatred, and it's worse with Psychonauts. He was just beginning to get a little bit of delight at the idea of a transfer when the two sophomoric idiots (sophomoric is like dumb, in an inappropriate way) came in. He cast shields in front of them, just for fun. If asked about it, he could just say that he was testing their reflexes. While they were recovering, he stuck his psitanium earplugs into his ears. It would protect both his brain and his ears from their moronic ideas. The blonde one, Joey, snuck up behind him (this is the untrained Sasha, remember) and pulled them out of his ears. "There's a dance over the roof tonight. There's great stereo up there. You should come. You could meet girls. That's what Mike and I are doing." "But only if they're hot," the brown-haired Mike put in. "So," said the fair-haired Joey, "You coming?" "I don't dance. And I refuse to think of women as objects. My mother was second-in-command of the German Psychonautics Core.

"Oh, well. In that case, Joey, I get Milla."

That changed things. "Milla Vodello?"

"Oh, so you do like women."

"Not like that. She's supposed to be the best at tricks and levitation."

"Jeez, can't you lighten up a little?" These boys were annoying. Joey had already left. "It's not all so serious. Lighten up!"

Joey ducked his head back in the doorway. "If he's not coming, that'll just make the party better. I get the shower first."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!"

Sasha sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he prepared for the longest week of his life.


	2. Above the Roof

Chapter 2: Dance Above the Roof

Thanks, Sunsetsea! This chapter switches places a couple times, but it's really, really important. Working on my spacing!

Disclaimer: The one on Chap. 1 and I don't own anything by The Doors.

Sasha hoped that he was doing a good job of blending in. The music was classical, so he knew a tiny bit if anyone made him dance. He assumed that Agent Vodello, as skilled as any psychonaut, would be near the edge of the roof.

A woman in a knee-length dress colored so brightly that it hurt his eyes to look at it levitated near the main speaker. She spoke, or rather, yelled, in a Portuguese accent.

"Who's ready to rock and roll, baby!"

The crowd cheered. Sasha put his head in his hand and sighed. The loud music started anyway.

The nest thing he knew, the strange woman was beside him.

"Joey and Mikey said you wanted to talk to me."

"Joey and Michael are sophomoric, perverted idiots."

"I know that. I wanted to see if they were telling the truth."

"I don't know you."

"Oh!" She put out her hand for him to shake. "Milla Vodello, darling."

Sasha was horrified. _This_ woman was the famed Milla Vodello, who already had the unofficial title, "The Mental Minx"? She must have seen the repulsion on his face, because she laughed.

"Yes, my professors this year had that reaction, too. Now, darling, do you want to dance?"

"I don't dance. Not to this kind of music, anyway."

"Well, then what music? Samba? Jazz?"

"Classical."

"That music was dull. Come on, this one is easy. It's the Cha Cha, darling. See? It goes forward, back, cha cha cha. Forward, back, cha cha cha. Oh, at least _try_!"

"I think you've had one too many tonight. I don't dance."

She cocked her head. "One too many what?"

"Drinks."

"Oh, no, I don't drink. It's no fun to deal with a drunk psychic, and I don't want to inflict that on other people. Now, darling, you were learning the Cha Cha."

"I'm going down to the parking lot."

"Why?"

He levitated one of his cigarettes up about neck-height.

"Oh. Umm, okay."

He levitated slowly down to the parking lot and had had half a cigarette before something happened.

Meanwhile, while Sasha was floating down to the parking lot, Milla's friend Alicia was up in front of the party. The Cha Cha music was over. "Okay, for the profs, this is 'Light My Fire' by The Doors! If you students haven't ever heard of it, that's just because it's really, really old!"

"Alicia, you don't say that part, darling!" Milla yelled.

"Umm. Oh, well. Here it is!"

They were on the first chorus ("Come on baby, light my fi-i-ire") when Milla froze. A couple seconds later, tears began to form in her eyes and she darted down to the parking lot. A second later, her friends darted after her.

She was halfway across the parking lot from him, sobbing. Her friends touched down after her and hugged her.

"Milla, what is it? What's wrong?"

Then the one with the braids and gold ornamentation said, "It was my fault, Milla. I should've asked you… I'm sorry."

The first one spoke again. "Hey, let's go back up to the dorm room. I'll make us some smoothies, and we can listen to your cricket tapes and meditate. How's that sound?"

Milla nodded and tried to smile through her tears. Her friends zipped off.

"You want one?"

"One what, darling?" Her voice was still a little broken. He TK'd one of his cigarettes in front of her.

"Oh, no, but… Thank you, darling, but I don't." She floated in the air, a couple of inches over the ground, and floated slowly across the parking lot. He knew she wanted to be alone.

Hey! I typed this all up in one morning! Cool, huh?


	3. Dance of Words

Chapter 3: Dance of Words

Ok now I think I have

The

Spacing

Right.

Place where someone else might put a disclaimer: What kind of name is "The Doors?"

Wrote this when I had to sit in the office b-cause I forgot it wuz Wednesday and went to the wrong lunch.

"Well?" She said, and sniffed.

"Well, what?"

"_Well,_ aren't you going to ask me if I want to talk about it?"

"You didn't look like you wanted to." He began floating back toward the party, to 'talk' to Joey and Mike.

She floated up next to him. "You don't talk to people much, do you?"

"Not if I can help it, no."

"I can tell." An even longer awkward silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She smiled a smile that shone like the sun through the clouds. "Yes."

"Okay."

"Well, before I was an exchange student, I lived in Brazil. It's a beautiful place, darling, you should go there sometime."

"Two languages is enough for me, thanks."

"Well, anyway, something happened, and now I'm afraid of fire."

"So then what was, umm…"

"Oh, that. At every dance we like to play something for the professors. Do you know 'Light My Fire?'"

"By The Doors, yes. It was my father's favorite song."

"Well, I didn't last through the first chorus, baby, and that's when you saw me just now."

"Oh." During this discussion, they'd been drifting slowly and diagonally toward a window. Sasha saw earth tones inside.

"Well, this is my room. Listen, you can hear the blender." As she opened the window telekinetically, she turned to him. "Thanks for listening. It meant a lot to me." Her eyes were still rheumy (watery), but Sasha knew he had made a difference when she smiled at him before floating horizontally through the window.

I've gotten now to the point where I can start the ushy-gushyness, but only a little bit at a time. Now I'm gonna try to work on my other story. Wow. That's 2 upgrades in one day.


	4. Chocolate and Chili Peppers

This one might have some discussion of 60's decoration (I saw "the look" of the 60's in some magazine) so it's actually like, in Milla's dorm, all the rooms are themed differently.

Yeah.

Chapter 4: Chocolate

Floating back to his dorm building (he no longer felt the urge to beat up on Joey and Mike) he thought about the complicated events of the night. Milla Vodello was a hippie psychic who hated fire, meditated, and was possibly vegetarian. She was Brazilian and liked to be up on stage yelling. She also enjoyed dancing, but not waltz or classical dances, and she levitated better that his old teacher. He shoved that information into a small cube, which he put inside of his large cube.

He floated to his window to find out where it was in case he needed it sometime and found that it was half-covered by ivy (not that he cared). He looked into Milla's window. Bright cloth stretched over huge canvases. Spherical chairs. Those little mushroom lamps that looked, to him, less like mushrooms than like mushroom clouds. She even had the Japanese-looking paper spheres. Her bedspread, of course, was fake fur, as were her rugs. He assumed that she shopped at thrift stores, or perhaps brought these things at thrift stores.

"?" At the foreign thought, he started to turn around. Then…

"Hello, darling." She almost startled him out of the air.

"Umm… I'm sorry. I was just interested…"

"Oh, yeah. I brought this stuff from home. Do you, uh, want to come in, darling? I'll make us some chocolate."

At this point, of course, Sasha was completely weirded out. 'Make chocolate?' Maybe she meant hot chocolate. And she hadn't even asked him anything, really, just assumed that he wanted to come in and talk. It was completely new to him.

Then she came back. "Oh, sorry! I need to clean up some!

She shoved stuff into her closet, threw the bedspread over her bed, and opened her window. "Okay, darling. Thank you for waiting." She then bounded through a door to what he assumed was the main room of her dormitory. He followed her, thinking he might go colorblind if he looked at this bright room any longer.

Fortunately, as he had seen earlier, the main room was full of earth tones and the brightest green in the room was an olive green. It felt good on his eyes.

From the stove, he could smell cocoa and… Cinnamon? Ginger? What _was_ that? Certainly not…

"Okay, darling, it's ready!" Milla poured five mugs of hot chocolate and was handing him his right when her dorm-buddies entered.

"Oh! You're… Milla!" The one called Alicia said as she burst out laughing. Her face was shiny, as though she'd done a lot of heavy dancing from the time when Milla had gotten back to the time Sasha had come to the dorm room.

Sasha glared at her.

When she was done laughing, she said, "So… Milla… hehe… How do you know Sasha?"

"Well…"

"I think the better question," Sasha said, interrupting his future girlfriend, "Is how do you know me?"

"Joey and Mikey pointed you out to us at the party as 'the guy with the greenish skin.' Girls travel in groups, if you hadn't noticed by now."

"Oh."

"They also said you don't talk much."

"Yes, Alicia," Milla said, making it no longer necessary for Sasha to talk, "But he's certainly a wonderful listener."

Sasha took a sip from his mug.

His mouth burned.

His eyes watered, and he realized that the unidentified ingredient was, in fact, chili pepper.

"Well, darling? Do you like it?"

"Umm… it's very spicy." Mouth… Burning…

"Yes, I know, darling. It's a family recipe from four or five hundred years ago. I modified it a bit, of course."

He remembered what he had learned of South American history. Long ago, chocolate had been a drink prized by those rich enough to drink their money. It included chili peppers.

"Of course, darling. For that extra little bit of _zing,_ tough, I like to use a little bit of habanera."

"Yeah, isn't it good?" Alicia said, giving him a look that Milla didn't catch that told him what to say.

"Uh, yeah. Really good. Milla, would you like to come to my dorm room for coffee sometime when Mike and Joey aren't around?"

"Oh! Thank you, Sasha!"

I don't have anything better, so the chapter ends there. I know Sasha's kind of radical, for him, but you have to remember that this is the Psychonaut equivalent of college.

PLEASE tell me what I'm doing wrong! I thrive on criticism! As I said before, it has to be detailed, but that's what I really want.


	5. Coffee Shop

Chapter 5: Sasha Gets a Social Life

Yeah, I know the chapter title in the little box isn't the same as down here. It wouldn't fit in the little box. The title over here is what happened a couple weeks ago. So… yeah.

Disclaimer: click "previous" four times and it might appear magically. To get back, click "forward" four times.

I'm getting so confused with my stories. They just melt together. I should've just finished the first one. Oh, well! 

_A couple weeks after the last chapter ended_

He had finished one step. He had gotten a degree in mental focusing. They didn't call it "shooting" because then the parents wouldn't let their kids go to the academy. The great thing about becoming a psychonaut was that it only took one year, and it was easier to get degrees in other things. Or, at least, it was faster. And he'd heard (a levitating minx had told him; she was his proverbial little bird) that the courses were harder. That was what he wanted to do. If he had no time for his beloved chemical experiments, then he would be in his element. Little did he know what would occupy his time years from then…

Next, though, was a degree in shields. He was serious. According to Milla's theology, he would be heavy as lead if he tried to levitate. She said that if he lightened up and freed his spirit, then his body would soar. He'd seen her and her friends play games in the wind. It looked like the kind of pointless games that he, too, had played when he was young. And yet, Milla insisted that it was playing tag on windy days made her the wonderful levitator that she was (they now saw each other about once a week) and tried to convince him to play with her. Her friends had no way to explain her attraction to him. They were exact opposites.

He was going to the store. He was out of cigarettes.

He saw her in front of the store (it's just a generic store, at least for now) with her hair blowing in the wind. She saw him and sent up a levi-ball. That's how good she was. Hers, for today, was bright blue. Yesterday… no, earlier, it had been magenta.

She jogged up to him. "Hello, darling. What are you doing here?"

"I'm out of cigarettes."

"Oh." He knew he could ruin a conversation with a couple words. For some reason, he felt compelled to stop, if only to please her.

"Well, darling, to you want to go to a coffee shop later?"

"Sure."

"Okay! See you in a couple minutes, darling!" And she started, levitating only slightly off the ground, toward the coffee shop at the other end of the shopping center.

He watched her for a couple seconds. Then he remembered that he needed more cigarettes. He went into the store and bought a couple packs (he liked to think a couple months into the future) and jogged over to the coffee shop. (It, too, is generic.)

"Over here, darling!" She was at the other end of the shop, waving at him. He blushed and his skin acquired an almost normal hue.

"Did you have to be so loud right then? People might think we're dating."

"Wow! Two whole sentences! I'll have to log that, darling!" She pulled a cloth-covered journal from her bag and used a pen that he supposed wrote in some odd color other than black and scrawled something quickly. She was never one to be discreet. Then she put the journal back in her bag. His face had, in that time, gone from almost-normal to almost-reddish, he was so embarrassed.

"Milla, what did you want to talk about?"

""Well, darling, I thought that a man and a woman could meet in a coffee shop and just talk about nothing for half an hour. That's what I do with my friends, and we don't even stop there. We can go on for hours, baby!"

"Milla, you know me better that that! I have a timed experiment back at the dorm!"

"Fine, then! You can just leave, then. Go back to your precious experiments! Maybe then you'll realize that you can't simulate human contact!" And she ran out, without calling him 'darling' even once in that last statement. That was when he felt something he'd never felt before. It was a feeling of loss at a magnitude that he had never felt before. He knew that she wouldn't talk to him for at least three weeks. She was so stubborn. Her stubbornness almost matched his isolationism before he'd met her. She'd made him realize that he _could _lose control, if only for a moment.

He wondered, too, if he had been in love.

Wow, this is the best chapter **_EVER_**! Milla does seem like the stubborn type to me. Once you mess with her and go a little too far. Don't worry, he'll make it up to her. That's for later, though.


	6. Pyrokinetic Breakdown

Chapter 6: Pyrokinetic Breakdown

So Sasha's taking Pyrokinesis courses, right? This is about when he actually loses focus.

Just a little… more… heat...

And he lost it.

It had been like this all week.

Ever since he and Milla had broken up.

He just couldn't focus.

Finally, the inevitable happened.

"Sasha, would you mind staying after class?" Professor Secca inquired (telepathically, of course). He sighed. He had let his personal life get in the way of his studies. Now he had to pay the consequences.

"Yes, Agent Secca," he sent back.

_After the Pyrokinetics class_

"Sasha, what's up?"

"What do you mean, professor?"

"A week ago you could burn anything, now you can't burn wood, what's up?"

He sighed.

"Oh, so it's a girl! That's easy enough. Girls like chocolate and dandelions."

_I broke up with a girl!_ He yelled telekinetically.

"Wow. Who was it?"

"Milla Vodel –"

"_Milla!´_ Wow, you're in trouble."

How was it that his professor sounded like someone his age?

"Because I'm only a couple years older than you. Now, Milla is extremely stubborn. She always does things her way. You have to do all the ushy-gushy love stuff that I can't see you doing. Of course, I can't see you having a relationship like that with a girl, either, so… Baisically, Sasha, you have to surprise her. Buy her flowers, bake her something, but you have to go over-the-top. Now, you're excused from class tomorrow because, frankly, you aren't getting anywhere right now, so you get to spend tomorrow planning what you want to do for her."

Sasha, of course, knew exactly what he was going to do. It might not get her completely back, in fact he doubted that he could ever do that, but he might at least be at peace. For the larger part of the next day, however, he would have to learn how to bake.

After several failed attempts, he realized that the little box said baking _soda_ and the recipe called for baking _powder_. He really hoped that that was his only problem.

It was. He finished the cake. Now he just had to frost it. He figured it was like a mix between ceramics and painting.

Wow… Sasha baking… That's a freaky image. I'd be afraid to eat anything that someone with green skin gave me. Milla's nice, though. And she knows the real him, or at least kind of the real him, so I guess it's kinda different.

Sorry the chapter's so short! You'll see the rest of his plan in the next chapter. Milla is stunned.


	7. Chocolate Cake

Chapter 7: Romancing Milla

Sasha has baked a cake. Isn't it sweet? Now to impress Milla…

Thanks for the mail! There's a dance tonight, so I have to take a shower, and I came up with this in the gym while I was waiting for the other classes to go. Consequently, it's not really that long.

He felt her confusion as she walked into the dorm. He felt her surprise as she saw the cake on the table, decorated with the kinds of flowers you can buy in a food store. She waked into her room and he felt her further confusion as she saw the daffodils on her pillow. She read the note. It said, "Look behind you." She did. By this time, of course, he was no longer invisible. Her reaction to seeing that he had snuck into her room was, of course, screaming at him.

"SASHA! You… You…"

Her cheeks reddened with anger.

"Milla, I've realized that I love you. Do you want to… you know… do you want to go out for coffee?"

He could tell that she knew that he meant more romantic things. They both knew that he was horrible at phrasing things.

"How about smoothies, darling? It's getting late, and we can we can try the wonderful cake that you made."

"Umm… How about not? It… Probably isn't that good."

"Oh, come on, darling, it can't be _that_ bad. Let's try it. And if it isn't that good, I'll tell Alicia she'd like it."

"Umm… Why?"

"Oh, come _on_, darling, you think I didn't notice when you didn't like my hot chocolate? That was mean of her. I'll just suggest to her, the same way that she did to you, that it's an absolutely wonderful cake. That sound good, darling?"

"Umm…"

"Oh, don't worry, darling, she'll get it."

_Later_

"Wait, darling. We've been together for two months, right?"

"To the day."

"So then that little cake gets two candles." She busied herself with sticking two candles into the cake and lighting them. The pair blew them out together, Sasha at Milla's urging.

_About a minute later_

"It _is_ kind of bad, huh, darling? Umm… If you don't mind my asking, what kind of cake is it?"

"Chocolate."

"Oh… I guess I thought there was something else in it."

"No."

She took another, small bite.

"No, I guess not. I'll cut us some apples, okay, darling?"

"Okay."

…Yeah. At least he tried. Omg, I can't believe I wrote that up in just, like, a couple minutes. Of course, it took up tons of space in my notebook, but that's different…

Anyway, I have scary images of Sasha baking now. They really freak me out.


	8. Setup for Practical Jokes

Chapter 7:

Originally, the cake had chilies, but Sasha isn't that unconventional, so I just made him a really bad baker.

"Hello, Alicia, darling."

"Hi, Milla! How come you always get back so fast?"

"You're asking someone who passed all areas of her levitation courses with honors that?"

"Oh yeah, huh. How was your application to be a camp counselor, anyway?"

"Denied. I still say it would make a good summer job. Until I know what I want to do as my actual profession, anyway."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Um, Milla," said one of the girls. Her name was Esphere, both because she thought it was a pretty name and because she specialized in shields. (It's like, e-sphere) It was a soft "e."

"Yes, darling?"

"Um, is there someone else in the room?"

"Yes, darling, there actually is."

That was, of course, Sasha's cue to reveal himself. "Hello."

All three of Milla's dorm friends screamed.

"See, darling? I told you they'd like you."

"When did screaming become a good thing?"

"Since ever, darling." She kissed him on the cheek. Her friends began to cheer. He himself blushed until his skin color was normal. It was amazing how much Milla could embarrass him.

_It's also amazing how you can't tell that I'm reading your outer thoughts. I thought you were defended better than that darling._

_It's amazing how much I thought you were nicer than that, Milla. Stop reading my thoughts._

He blocked up his cube.

Then he felt her leaving.

Then he heard disappointed sounds from her friends. He shot an angry glare at Milla.

"Okay, girls, it's time to get ready for the dance tonight!"

They all split up.

"Do you want to meet me there, darling?"

"I don't dance."

"Aww…"

sigh "I'll pick you up at six fifty-four."

"Ooh! Thank you, Sasha!"

And she ran into her room. He exited her dorm. He needed to get back and fix his hair.

Seriously, though, does it ever look like guys actually dress up for dances? Not to mention that they never even dance, unless it's something weird. Neither do the girls, of course, but the only time I could ever get my boyfriend to dance with me last night was when there were slow dances. And this one girl kept trying to get us to hug.

I hugged him after the last slow dance though, so it was okay!


	9. Alicia, You'll Love It

Chapter 9: Alicia, You'll Love It

Yeah, the chapter title wouldn't make sense unless you'd actually read the rest of the story. I'm hoping Alicia hates the cake, but I'm not a "planning" sort of person, so I guess that what happens just happens.

Milla was again trying to get him to dance with him. He just kind of followed her without doing the dance. Then there was a slow dance.

All of the couples paired up, and the larger groups of girls sang some of the lines.

_You're supposed to lead, darling._

"I'm not good at leading."

_Well, you'd better _get_ good at leading in the next two seconds!_

"I'll do what I can."

_Sasha, just rock back and forth._

"Okaaay…"

He began to rock back and forth like everyone else over the roof was.

Then he began taking small steps. Milla would tell him if there was anything he needed to know. For example, since he couldn't see behind himself, sometimes she'd tell him telepathically that there were people behind him. (I did that with my crush last night. Not telepathically, though.)

After the dance, they both went to Milla's dorm. Her friends were there already.

"Hey, Milla, why's there a cake on the table?"

"Oh, Sasha gave that to me, darling. Would you like a piece? You wouldn't like it, Esphere, it's got a lot of coco in it."

"Oh, okay. Who wants coffee?" Esphere always seemed to need something to do.

"Not me, darling, I'll just have water. Alicia, are you sure you don't want to try it? I'll cut you a piece." That was Milla's way, assuming that everyone agreed with her.

"Umm… sure."

As she served the piece of cake, Milla said, "Sasha made this for me. Isn't it _wonderful_, Alicia, darling?" (The italics didn't mean telepathy right then. It was just Milla exaggerating the word.)

"Uh… yeah?"

"Good. I thought it might be a little too bitter for you."

"Oh, no, it's, um, it's perfect!"

"That's good to know, darling. Isn't it nice when people appreciate your cooking, Sasha?"

"I… guess."

Then Esphere kept them from having to continue the already-bland conversation.

"Hey! The coffee's ready, everyone! Sasha, do you want some?"

"Sure."

"And Milla, I'm gonna take the filter now so you can have your hot water. You sure you don't want a teabag in there?"

"Oh, um, no, darling. That's fine."

"Okay!"

"You know what, darlings? I think some fruit would taste good now." Sasha knew that she (and her dorm friends, for that matter) were vegetarians.

"Maybe some carrots, too?"

"Sure, Alicia!" She rummaged around in the refrigerator and Sasha was left to talk to her dormmates for a couple minutes.

"So, Sasha…" Esphere, with her annoying and constant bubbliness said, "How've things been?"

"Good. How are things around here?" He couldn't lead a dance, but it was easy enough to make small talk.

"They're really good. I think Milla missed you. She didn't levitate as much after you two broke up, and she levitates when she's happy. I'm glad you came back, too. You're nice."

"Oh, umm… thank you." That was… awkward.

"Did anything happen to _your_ psychic abilities? Milla actually inspired a new paper I'm working on for my psychology class (wouldn't psychics be good at psychology?) about how emotions can effect psychic abilities."

"Well… My pyrokinesis got worse."

"Really? That's interesting. Maybe… Maybe depression causes a lack of psychic abilities. Did you get any better at your psychic skills while you and Milla were dating?"

"Oh! You're asking Sasha that stuff? That's smart, darling." Milla had returned.

"Yeah. He said his pyrokinesis got worse after you two broke up. It's really fun doing this. You find out about all the things you could never read in someone's mind."

"Umm… Do you mind if I listen, Sasha, darling?"

"No."

"Okay. I'll be quiet now, darling."

"Good. Now, Sasha, did you levitate well when after you two broke up? I know you can now, and so can Milla."

"I didn't try."

"Well, what skills _did_ you try to use after you broke up?"

"Pyrokinesis."

"And…?"

"Pyrokinesis."

sigh. "Okay. What skills do you usually have?"

"Most of the basic ones."

"Okay." Esphere did a series of tests that showed her how powerful his different skills were.

"Wow, you're powerful. Okay, that's it."

"You should leave now, darling. It's getting late."

"Okay." He left Milla's dorm, thinking about Esphere's theology. Maybe it was right…

Maybe Esphere will be a big character, maybe Alicia will, who knows? I just like laughing at Sasha for being on a first-name basis with a group of party girls. I also like the name Esphere. I'm going to the peace march soon, so no more upgrades for a couple hours.


	10. Sasha's Pyro Skills

Chapter 10: Girls Like Guys Who Have Good Skills

Disclaimer because I need a new one: I don't own any phrases from Napoleon Dynamite. My favorite animal is a liger.

So now… (I need to recap because the plots of my two stories kind of melt together like I have a blender in my mind.) Sasha has all his Psychic stuff back because he's happy again, and so does Milla, and Alicia learned her lesson. Yeah. Here's the chapter.

He was back in his dorm, lying on his back on his bed, with his hands behind his head, thinking. He had major insomnia. He wondered if he was going to get any sleep that night. Finally, he got up. It was useless to just lay there. He had experiments.

About five or six sleeping pills later, he was sleeping a dream-filled sleep. He didn't remember any of them in the morning. He got dressed, grabbed his backpack, and headed out his window. Everyone knew that doors were just a formality.

As he entered the pyrokinesis class, he heard the high-pitched voice of Professor Agent Secca. _Hey, Sasha! You good now?_

He nodded slightly. He had never been that good at telepathic conversations. That was the next course he was planning to take. Then he'd do levitation, although he knew that he'd never be as good as Milla.

_Aww. That's so romantic! So she's your girlfriend again? Or just your friend?_

He glared at his professor.

One hour later, he was back to boiling water. That was the actual test to pass the class. He was good at it.

At the end of the class, of course, he heard the same voice in his head that he'd heard that morning.

_Okay, Sasha. Stay after class and we'll discuss your psychic/academic future."_

Finally, something he was interested in.

_A minute or two later…_

"Okay, Sasha, we both know that you're a really good Pyrokinetic. Maybe even better than some of the students I've pushed ahead before. So, now that you can boil large quantities of water every time you try, you may go ahead to any psychic field you want. We're only a couple weeks in. You're smart enough that I think you'll catch up to any class you want quickly."

"Actually, the class I have in mind…"

_Yes, I know._

"I'm hopeless in telepathy."

"Yeah. And? So was I, when I came here. It's like math. You either get it, or you don't. Then, when you _do_ understand it, you see how easily all of the branches fit together."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, it's your choice, Sasha. Either you can stay here and be bored for the next… What is it? Month? Or you can have me write you a note and go to the mental equivalent of math."

"Umm…" It would be nice, but…

"Okay. Tomorrow, you'll be going to mental math. Wait… It's like… Hehe. Anyway, here. This…"She scrawled something illegible on a slip of paper, "is your ticket in. Hope you get it soon!"

It was a dismissal, and he knew it. Then he remembered.

"Um, professor?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you know Milla?" Surely Milla hadn't taken the course…

"You think she doesn't make sure that absolutely everyone knows her? I thought you were smarter than that, Sasha!"

… So ends the captivating saga of Sasha's struggles to become a pyro! Maybe I'll explain his hatred of tacky lamps in the next chapter. Who knows?


	11. Telepathy

Chapter 11: te-LE-pa-thy

Yeah, it's a dumb chapter name. Now, anyways. It'll make sense in like a couple minutes.

The peace march went good. There were TONS of people there! All sorts of great stuff.

Telepathy wasn't fun. It was hard. Not that he didn't like a challenge, but this was way too hard of a challenge. It was like… use a mental hook… to clasp onto a section of the mind… and migrate with it. He just couldn't do it.

Fortunately (and unfortunately) he was getting lots of personal attention. He was still working on the "mental hook" part after a week.

Milla noticed.

She was the sort of person who helps people for the sake of helping them.\

She was extremely stubborn.

He would learn basic telepathy over the weekend, OR ELSE.

"Okay, darling. Look at this picture."

She slid a piece of paper over the table.

"That is the image that I'm going to be concentrating on, okay, darling? You just have to glance at my mind, then concentrate on that picture. That's it, okay, darling?"

Going in easy steps like that, she taught him telepathy in two days and an afternoon. It was simple enough. His original problem was that actual telepathy had nothing to do with hooks, mental or otherwise. It was concentration. He had to just concentrate on that one thought, and that was it. The thing he learned, though, was that he had to grasp it in several different ways because trains of thought had about twenty or so cars. It was like running from one car to the next, glancing at the furnishings, and running on to the next one before that car fell off of the train. Not simple, by any means, but Milla assured him that it would get a lot easier once he was used to it.

"Okay, Sasha, try to follow my thought. It's going to go slowly."

"…"

"Well perhaps you are stupid, you don't seem to understand telepathy."

"…"

"That's impossible. Now, just think of it like fishing. Hook, hold, release."

"…"

"No, it's impossible for your girlfriend to teach you telepathy over a weekend."

_A fritter would taste good right now._

"Then what was that?"

"What was what?"

"The 'a fritter would taste good right now' coming from your mind."

"That was a result of a strong psychic making a lucky guess."

_When will he accept that his thoughts are impossible?_

"I don't know. When will you stop saying that my notions are impossible, Professor Agent Clavd?"

"What did you say, boy?"

"I stated my reaction to your thoughts."

"That is impossible, Sasha. You can't read minds. You can't even get them after a week."

_When will you understand that, if someone who knows you, and can relate the things that you want to know to the things that care about to the things you're learning, that can get you farther than weeks of things that you don't understand? Milla showed me neocubism, which is the only kind of art that I like, and she held that image. Then, she related it to her interpretation of the image. She did that a bunch of times, and I could follow along. Not everyone cares about fishing._

_Well, if you can read my mind, then what am I thinking right now?_

"From the tone of your question, you were incredulous as to my ability to read your thoughts."

Professor Agent Clavd then shot Sasha his nastiest glare, the glare that made people melt. Sasha remained calm and collected as always. He had seen worse. Of course, that had been in his father's mind. He'd found a psycho-portal at a thrift shop, available for just about nothing. He was good at clairvoyance; he had simply looked to see how it was used. Then he used it to get into his father's mind…

Fortunately, Clavd didn't see that thought.

"So, apparently, you can catch simple thoughts. So now the question is: can you net more complex thoughts?"

"Yes."

"I doubt it."

The day went on like that. Every time Professor Agent Clavd doubted Sasha's abilities, Sasha proved him wrong. He got the feeling that Clavd called him 'Sasha' to make him feel bad. For some immature men, comparing guys to girls, such as the term, 'you run/fight/etc. like a girl' was an insult. Sasha saw that as a mark of immaturity and liked to think that he was better than that.

"Glad to know you think that, darling."

When had Milla come up next to him?

"Right when you got out of practice. Not to speak ill of a professor, but I think that Clavd should do some of the bad missions for awhile. It might make him sweeter. Now, darling, the girls and I were thinking that I should meet your friends sometime. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Umm… No."

"Well, why not, darling?"

"My roommates aren't exactly… social. You wouldn't like them very much."

"Well, you aren't that social either, darling, but that doesn't mean you aren't nice. What could go wrong?"

"They aren't exactly… used to talking to girls like you."

"Like me in which way?"

"Well, you're colorful, energetic, friendly…"

"Okay, darling, I get it. What are they, nerds or something?"

"Yes, but in a good way. Whenever I have problems with my experiments, or with my laptop any one of them can fix it in a matter of seconds. Plus they're quiet, which I value."

"Okay, then, maybe I wouldn't like to meet them. You need more friends, though, darling. Guy friends, who you can do guy stuff with. Like talk about cars and motorbikes and things."

"Milla, you know that my only goal at the moment is to become a Psychonaut."

"That doesn't mean you can't have a little fun along the way, darling."

They had gotten to the point where he would go up and she would go strait, so he sighed and headed towards his window.

His dormmates all laughed at him.

Yeah, I can imagine computer nerds would laugh at Sasha for loving Milla. I have to bed now and it sux because I want to write more fanfiction! Entering new words into Microsoft Word's dictionary… Done! Ok, expect a couple updates on at least one of my stories tomorrow!


	12. Goodbyes

Chapter 12: Goodbyes

To FluffleNeCharka: I don't have anything against nerds, and Sasha said nerds were cool. But his roommates were the kind of super-stereotypical nerds who haven't seen the light of day since they were six. I, myself, enjoy the company of nerds. My dad, sister, and boyfriend are nerds. Just, not to that extent. Sorry for the confusion!

"Wake up, darling, and let me in!"

He woke up, suddenly extremely aware of his surroundings. He sat up. Milla was at the window. He remembered that it was Saturday. He looked at his clock. It was 8:06, and he remembered telling Milla that they'd go to breakfast and he'd meet her in her room at 8:00.

He suddenly realized that he had forgotten to set his alarm clock. Since it was winter, he slept in a t-shirt, guy shorts, and socks. He walked over to the window.

"Milla, at least let me get dressed."

"Well, I guess I just naturally assumed that someone who gets up at 5:00 every morning to go to classes at 9:00 could get up in time to be dressed and go out with his girlfriend. Be at my dorm in half an hour."

She flitted off toward her window.

He changed into a decent shirt, a jacket, and jeans, added another pair of socks over the ones he was already wearing, and pulled on his shoes. He shaved, washed his face with icy water, and levitated out of his room. He was, of course, fully awake by now. That faded over the fifteen seconds that it took to get to Milla's window.

"Hello, darling!"

"Hello, Milla." He tried to smile at her, but he just wasn't the "smiling" type.

"So, where do you want to go?"

"I dunno. Somewhere with coffee?"

"You aren't a morning person, are you, darling?"

"No."

She smiled. "Let's go to that new little café over near the thrift shop."

"There's a thrift shop here?"

"Yes, darling. You don't get out much, do you?"

"Not unless I'm going to the store, or if I'm going somewhere with you."

"Okay, darling, then I'll show you the way."

_A couple minutes later_

It was… a new experience walking the streets of Washington DC in the winter. He was colder than he had ever hoped to be after leaving Germany, and he was shivering by the time they got to the desolate little café. He got coffee and toast, Milla got eggs, and his mind felt sludgy until he'd had his third cup of coffee. Milla was talking quickly the whole time, but she expected it to be a one-sided conversation.

"…So then I decided that it might be interesting to come to the United States, and I became an exchange student through the Psychonauts."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I've had a wonderful time here. Once I even saw Senior Agent Cruller. He was… interesting."

"'Interesting?'"

"Well, he's a bit odd… I guess all psychics are… but he seemed… closed off… From other people, but then… he was so… absorbed… in world events. It was… eerie. He's quite an odd person, darling."

"Oh."

"Are you still feeling sludgy, darling?"

"No. Why?"

"Because… I love you." And she kissed him. It was the best moment of his life. A million feelings all exploded in his mind. He was only mildly aware of her voice as he was getting over the fact that Milla had kissed him.

"Sasha, you have to know… Tomorrow, I'm going to graduate. I'll be a Psychonaut then… I don't think I'll be allowed to stay here much longer. I just… If I never see you again, I want you to know that… I love you, Sasha. I'll be thinking about you for the rest of my life. If you want to come along, I'm going to be working at a summer camp this summer. Maybe you could come, too. It's only for a couple of weeks."

"I… guess." Milla was leaving. He knew she didn't want to, but it still hurt him, thinking of the months when he wouldn't see her.

"It's called Whispering Rock. It's a camp for children in 5th to 7th grade. I'll try to see you as many times as I can before then, but… I don't know how often I can." She smiled weakly.

"I understand, Milla. And you don't have to feel sorry. I'll be busy, too."

"Yeah, but…"

"Seriously, Milla. I'll be fine. Are you ready for the missions?"

"I… think."

"You'll be busy. And Milla?"

Her eyes were full of sadness. "Yes, Sasha?"

"Don't think about me. It could affect your missions. If you got hurt because you were distracted…"

She started to cry in earnest. He settled his arm around her as she hung on to him.

"Oh, Sasha, I don't know what to do! I've already got a partner, and a room, and I know what to do, but… I'll be so alone!"

"It's okay Milla. You'll be fine." He sensed that it wasn't the time for words right then, so he patted her on the back a couple times. He noticed that the people around them were staring at them.

"Let's go back to my room. You can sit down in more comfort there, and people won't be staring at us."

She whimpered once, and nodded her head.

_A good while later_

They walked in through the door.

Sasha guided her to his room, and Milla sat down on his bed. He followed suit. By this time, of course, Milla had calmed own a bit, but she was by no means happy. She leaned on him, and he slung an arm around her shoulder.

This was so… Un-Milla. It was odd that she should be so unhappy for so long. He hugged her closer, and the minutes dissolved. Suddenly, it was very late in the morning. He released her. She was better able to smile now.

"Sasha?"

"Mm?"

"I will always love you."

"I know."

They both knew that he loved her equally.

Aww…! It's so sweet! It also introduces Whispering Rock, which is gonna come up as Sasha's summer job. In case you were wondering, yes, I _do_ know that Milla's going to become a Psychonaut on a Sunday, and no, I don't know why she didn't tell Sasha on Friday. Sasha is so totally gonna be at the ceremony, though! I'm not going to go into detail though. That would be boring. Oh, and it's going to introduce Milla in a long dress. Most of the time in these stories she's just wearing jeans and a shirt. I can't imagine her levitating that high, that much, and wearing the same kind of dress she wore at Whispering Rock.


	13. Life Without Milla

Chapter 13: Life Without Milla

Hey, everyone who's reading both of my stories! Look at the dialogue right around the part where Milla kisses Sasha, then at the first couple sentences of Can and Can't Change. Then think about what she says she's going to be doing and read the rest of the paragraph in Can and Can't Change. Notice anything? I'm having a really fun time making all these stories go together! For everyone who isn't reading both stories, here's the next chapter.

It was odd. He felt almost the same as when he'd broken up with her, but without his psychic powers being depleted. He figured out then that, while love didn't make the world go around, it did make your psychic powers. Milla loved him; that meant that, while he was sad that she was gone, he was happy that she loved him. It was an odd feeling, and an even weirder knowledge.

So, if he was feeling both of those feelings, and his psychic skills weren't changing, what the heck was up with Professor Agent Clavd? He was somehow in denial of Sasha's telepathy abilities. He was incessantly testing Sasha's powers. Pairing him up with someone else to practice Sasha would have understood. This, however, was getting to be insane. On the last day, weeks later, by which everyone had to have a decent knowledge of telekinesis, Sasha got held back.

Of course, he asked Clavd why.

"Because I am just about sure that you are cheating. Plus, you can't send messages telepathically."

"I'm not cheating, and you should have let me learn broadcasting weeks ago."

"How do I know that you're speaking the truth? You're the one who magically acquired telepathy over a weekend."

"Because you won't even give me a fair test."

"Sasha, if I thought you capable of being 'fair,' I wouldn't have held you back."

"If I go to one of the teachers who doesn't know me, and they give me a passing grade, then can I move on?"

"Sure. But it isn't going to happen, Sasha, it just isn't." _unless Secca convinces one of them to let him._

"You've been telling all of the teachers to keep me from passing!"

_It's okay. I can get Selzinski by tonight. _ "Of course not, Sasha. What gave you that idea?"

"Umm… Nothing. I'm going to talk to Professor Agent Selzinski."

_He knows._

"Okay. Good luck, Sasha. Not that it'll make a difference."

As he was walking towards the clairvoyance room (where Selzinski taught) he thought about what Clavd had been thinking. Why didn't he want Sasha to pass? Maybe he didn't want any competition. Some people were just mean like that.

Finally, he arrived with the room with a single bead instead of a name. If you used clairvoyance, it was supposed to have an image of Selzinski. _Only a woman would think of something that clever,_ he thought.

_Thank you._ The response had an extremely slight Russian accent to it. It was the voice of Professor Agent Selzinski.

"So, Sasha Nein, I assume."

"How, uh…"

"Well, Clavd has been trying to get us to keep you from passing. Since it's the last day of testing, and I've never seen you before, I have to assume that you're the famed Sasha Nein, who would pose a good deal of competition to Professor Clavd. Ready for testing?"

"Sure."

They then proceeded. Professor Agent Selzinski tested all of his abilities. Finally, he was allowed to pull out of her mind.

"Well, I'm going to give you a passing grade, as long as you promise to learn broadcasting. Remember that I'm only letting you pass because you learned all that was possible for you to learn, but you still have to learn one more thing."

"Thank you, Professor Selzinski."

"Don't mention it. Clavd is stuck up and, frankly, I think he's a loon. But since he isn't by Psychonautic standards, I can't file anything against him."

Sasha smiled inwardly.

So… Out with Clavd, and I have to come up with the name of the name of the Levitation teacher. Who wants to bet that this is going to be one of those instances where, to add to the romance of the story, the loved one comes back?

If you did bet, then you're gonna lose your money because I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible. Plus I want to give Sasha a decent trial (Milla too, but you don't get to hear about her side of things)

So it's night, I'm upgrading in the morning, and I'm gonna start on Levitation tomorrow.


	14. Levitation takes Light Thoughts

Chapter 14: What Light Thoughts?

Remember Milla talking about light thoughts make you levitate better? What real emotions does Sasha have right now? Besides his feelings having to do with Milla, of course.

So now there's a scandal with Clavd, Sasha's a levitator, and… yeah. I wonder why they'd have to teach levitation. _Quote: Everyone knew that doors were only a formality._

He had, of course, missed Milla. He had gone for at least two months without her, and now he was taking levitation. Most of the time he just sat near the ceiling and thought about his girlfriend. She had, of course, send him letters, and he had done likewise, but he doubted that, with all of the things that she had written about having to do in the two months, she even had enough time to get a decent amount of sleep. He knew that she would read them eventually.

One day, he was sitting on the ceiling, as always, when someone came into the room.

"Psycadet Nein! Your presence is requested in the main office!"

He sighed – what had he done wrong? – and headed for the main office, where students registered, saw visitors, all that stuff.

As he entered the office – this being an "as," not a "right after" – Milla hugged him.

"Oh, darling, I'm so glad to see you again, it was so bad not having you there all the time!"

He was fairly sure that he saw the lady at the desk smirking at them.

"I missed you, too, Milla, but… you pulled me out of training. You could get in trouble for that."

"I don't care, darling, I'm just so glad to be back!" She squeezed him harder and he was aware that if she were to squeeze him any harder, his arms, shirt, and jacket might melt together.

"Did you think about me, darling?"

"Yeah, I sit on the ceiling every day. Everyone thinks I'm weird."

"Psychics are weird, darling. I'm just so glad to be back here again!" She finally released him.

As they walked back to the levitation class, she talked almost nonstop – they had a lot to catch up on.

"I heard there was a big scandal with the telepathy teacher."

"Yeah, he thought I was cheating, and he tried to get all of the teachers to keep me from passing."

"My senior, Mayasa, kept calling it 'Clavdgate.' Do you know what that means, darling?"

"There was a big scandal in America a long time ago called 'Watergate.' I think Agent Mayasa was referring to that."

"Oh." She smiled at the joke. "Sasha, darling, what would you say if I told you that I want you to be my partner once you're a Psychonaut?"

"That would be… fun. It could be distracting, though."

"Who cares, darling?" At this point, they were floating to the only entrance to the Levitation room: a window that was as close as it could be to the ceiling.

"The government, for one."

"Well… Oh, and I'm called the Mental Minx now. Just wanted you to know, darling."

She kissed him on the cheek, hugged him, and left him to think about their conversation for the rest of the class.

As he left, of course, there she was. They went to the atrium in the middle of the headquarters. They discussed how they had come to the academy. Baisically, that meant how they had discovered their skills.

"Well, I read a lot when I was young. Picture books and things, you know, darling? Sometimes, I'd levitate and act out the stories. Once, my parents saw me doing it. I didn't think it was odd. I thought it was normal. I was only five, Sasha. I got shipped off to a boarding school when I was five, Sasha!"

For a moment, he thought she was going to cry again, but she didn't. She was a survivor. He respected that.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by her musical voice.

"How did they discover you, Sasha?"

"They didn't. I did. I was ten. My father was fixing dinner, and he was thinking about my mom and… well… they were strong emotions. I ran away because I was afraid of him. I'm pretty sure that my sister is the German equivalent of a Psychonaut now. We got it from our mother. I never knew her. She died when I was young."

"Oh… I feel kind of selfish now. At least I had a childhood."

"I did. Then it stopped."

"Yes, Sasha, but childhoods aren't supposed to end with you being an adult. They're supposed to end with you in puberty."

"I had a puberty. My voice is deeper than a ten-year-old's, right?"

"An emotional puberty, Sasha!" She was laughing at him. He could tell from her tone and her smile.

"I did. It was just faster that usual."

sigh "You just don't get it, darling."

"I do, put I'm fooling with you."

"You have a complete sense of humor, too? I never knew!"

She squeezed him for a second.

He sighed. He was just trying to make her happy for the short amount of time that she was back.

Apparently, she didn't want to talk about her past any more than she just had, because she changed the subject right then.

"So, darling, have you seen Alicia or Esphere since I left?"

"No. I only knew them because I knew you. I don't really talk to them much anymore."

"Well, I e-mailed them while I was coming back, and… do you have and e-mail address, darling?"

"No."

"Oh. Well, anyway, darling, when I got back, we had a little party. We listened to the cricket tapes that I left them when I became a psychonaut, and meditated around the sand garden, then we had smoothies. It was so fun!" She smiled that sunbeam smile at him. It made butterflies flit around his cube until he shoved them back in.

"It sounds like something that you would enjoy."

"Yeah, it was." She kissed him on the cheek for the second time that day. He smiled, a half-smile that fit his usual attitude. She had so many different sides… if a circle was 360 degrees, then no wonder there were so many rounded areas in her mind. He didn't want to figure out how many degrees that made.

"Glad you think I'm so original, darling."

"Oh, uh, yeah. I've never met a spiritual person with such a, uh, bright personality."

She smiled again. "Thank you."

See? I told you she wouldn't be an assistant. She goes away the next day, though. It sux for both of them, especially since Sasha's taking levitation courses now. The Mental Minx levitates everywhere.

And the thing about her discovering her power isn't in the game. I haven't even finished it yet, which is why the Meat Circus sux heckuva lot. I can't even get past the first part, where you chuck the bunnies off the slabs of meat. I can't get onto the slab above the spinning thingy.


	15. Summer Camp

Chapter 15: WhisperingRock

Yeah, Milla has to leave. Her life will get less busy… or Sasha will become a Psychonaut… Whichever happens.

Milla was gone again, but just that one day together had made him feel confident and wonderful.

As for levitation classes, he had signed up to be one of the first tested. He had to complete an obstacle course in a short amount of time. It was easy. He just signed up for clairvoyance when he was done. There was no reason to stay in class, so most people just got on with their lives after testing.

Professor Selzinski was delighted that he'd signed up. He had the sort of perseverance that she admired. He liked her, too, because she stood up for what she believed in.

He wasn't much surprised when he got accepted into the class.

The rest of the year went smoothly. Milla visited sometimes. She was at his initiation ceremony. Then they signed up to be partners. They went to the summer camp together. He didn't like kids, but he dealt with it so that he could spend time with Milla. He realized that this was where she belonged. It was wonderful to see her so happy. Then she got mad at him. That was when she found out that his lab was underneath a Geodesic Psychoisolation Chamber.

"Sasha! Are you out of your mind! The kids could shut each other up in there, and then their parents would just about kill us and…"

"Milla! It's all right. I have everything under control. They can't get in here on their own."

"I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT HERE, SASHA!" She was mad. "I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE GPC!"

"Milla, calm down. They can't get into the GPC, either. None of them have the skills. They don't seem to train Psycadets the same way they used to."

"Sasha, if even one of those children gets stuck in psychoisolation, I swear I will kill you myself. That is the worst thing that you can EVER do to a psychic."

"Milla, I know that. Even if one of them was courageous enough to come over here, then they'd also have to find the door, figure out how to open it, and then let the door slip so that it shut on them. From the fact that no one in this camp isn't afraid of me, those are nearly impossible conditions."

"Yes, Sasha, but not _im_possible." She was, of course, still raging over the whole concept, but now her anger was controlled.

"No, Milla, it isn't impossible, but the chance of one of the children locking him or herself in the GPC is so small that we don't even need to think about it."

"Okay, Sasha, but if you're wrong…"

"Trust me, Milla, I won't be."

Later that week, he heard crying from his GPC.

It was one of the children.

Milla screeched, and screeched, and tried to hurt him. ("Him" means Sasha, not the little kid)

Until.

"No, Milla, don't! It wasn't him! It was that stupid bully! I didn't give him any arrowheads, so he locked me in there!"

Milla stopped trying to break through Sasha's shield.

"What?"

"I said, Wenchell locked me in there! It wasn't Sasha!"

She turned back to face him. "'Impossible,' darling?"

"I miscalculated, Milla."

"'Miscalculated,' indeed. Come on, Anders."

"Okay."

_Later in the main lodge, as Sasha was one of only two counselors and Milla had dragged him over there_

"What'd I do!"

"You were suspected of forcing a young Psycadet into psychoisolation, darling."

"I didn't lock Anders in the GPC!"

"I'm going to have to call your parents, darling."

"NO! Not my parents! Anything else, just PLEASE DON'T CALL MY PARENTS!"

Sasha saw things then that should never, ever occupy a ten-year-old's mind. From the look of horror on Milla's face, she saw it, too. Some of the children saw it, too. It would be the main gossip of the camp for the next several weeks. Then Wenchell, the young bully, started to cry.

"Okay, darling, I won't call your parents, but if anything like this happens again…"

"It won't! I swear!"

And that was that.

Yeah, all sorts of stuff's happening. Next chapter, Whispering Rock gets a new custodian. If you don't know who, then you've never played Psychonauts.

This is cool. I'm getting back into longer chapters. Funness!


	16. Ford Cruller

Chapter 16: Ford Cruller

Cruller comes, stuff happens, and… yeah.

The news was private, but it wasn't like every Psychonaut in the world didn't know by now: Ford Cruller was insane. They were sitting in the main cabin the week before camp started when Milla brought it up. It was the first time the two had ever talked about it.

"So, darling, what do you think of it?"

"Of what?"

"Cruller."

"Oh… that. I think they'd better choose a new leader soon, or else the whole organization will fall apart."

"Oh. What do you think of the new proposal?"

"For what to do with him?"

"Yes, darling, what else would I be talking about?"

"Well, a few minutes ago, I was trying to get you to stop about the decline of bunnies in this area since the bears learned telekinesis, so…"

"Yes, but now I'm talking about Ford, darling. What do you think about the new proposal?"

"I think it's dangerous. Judging from past studies, it is possible that his brain, and consequently his head, could implode."

"Eww! That's disgusting, Sasha!"

"No, it's a fact."

"Well, I think that it would be fun to have him here? Who knows, darling, it might do him some good!"

She got up and left the table.

Milla could be so… difficult, sometimes. The real problem was who to choose as the new head of the World Psychonauts Organization. He had E-mailed his sister. After months of frustration, Milla had forced him to get an E-mail address. He was His sister, who he hadn't seen in about… it was fourteen years now, since he'd seen her. How the time flew by. He had to visit Germany again one of these days.

Anyway, he'd asked her who she thought would be the next head. Her reply was the kind of devilish thing that he had come to expect of her over the ten years when he'd been at home. It went:

Little brother,

Think for once! It's going to be someone who speaks Psych, a senior agent, and a strong leader. I'm guessing one of he Heads of a country. The best I can think of is the Russian Head, but the Panamanian Head is probably a close runner-up! Or maybe they'll choose an American Psychonaut, because at this time your country is lacking both a Head of the Country and a Head of the World. One of your senior agents… That Truman Zanotto guy might be good. Who knows?

Love Always, Mindy.

That, of course, was the translated version. He knew he had to go back to Germany when he started translating German into English, instead of the other way around. As for Zanotto… He was experienced, but certainly not organized enough to manage even one country of Psychics.

The next day, it was all over the Psychic frequencies that Truman Zanotto was Head of the Psychonauts in America. He didn't bring it up with Milla because they always got into arguments over that sort of politics.

"Sasha, before you say a single word about Truman, I want to tell you that I refuse to say anything about my opinion on his election because we'll just start fighting again. And plus, we have to get ready for Cruller. He'll be coming soon. I've arranged for him to have that big, creepy cave in the middle of the camp, okay, darling? I'm not going down there, so you'll have to ask some of the refugee kids to help you. It's like all of my thoughts are echoed and magnified a million times over. But, anyway, I talked it over with Truman, and he said it would be a great idea. I'll be in my lab if you need me, darling. Bye!"

He didn't know why, but somehow, he'd expected to at least be able to say one word before she flew off. How foolish he was. He shoved his hands in his pockets and levitated, only a couple of inches over the ground, towards the main cabin.

Author's note: if I haven't mentioned it yet, some of the kids in Whispering Rock whose families don't accept them don't stay at home to be abused. Instead, they stay at Whispering Rock. Easy enough solution. I imagine Dogan stays there most of the time, or else goes to boarding school.

Anyway…

"Who knows the tunnels and the Psitanium Cave?"

Hands were raised all over the main cabin. It was, after all, lunchtime.

"Who wants to install sleeping quarters in the cave, and make it bigger?"

More hands were raised, mostly by boys. He remembered that, when he was young, he had loved digging tunnels. "Go there, make it suitable for a retired Psychonaut, and try to do it by tomorrow. It would be easiest to do that by shooting."

He floated to a tree stump, into his lab, and back to his experiments.

_The next day…_

Again Milla had dragged him away from his experiments, this time to meet the insane form of Ford Cruller.

He was wearing overalls and bunny slippers, and holding a broom and spatula in one hand, the oar of a canoe in the other.

"Is this the annual janitors' Christmas meeting?"

Milla, fortunately, was a skilled actress. Sasha couldn't lie for beans.

"No, darling, it's an amusement park. You have to keep it clean, chase off any stray animals, that sort of thing."

"Why isn't there anyone here, then?"

"It's closed, darling, for, um, repairs."

"Hey, where'd you hooligans put my canoe!"

Milla gave Sasha a look that said that it had been a big mistake and she really, REALLY hoped that the psitanium did something to help his sanity.

"I'll, uh, go… see if, it's, uh, ready!" As he had said, he sucked at lying.

"Okay, Bye!"

"Goodbye, Sasha!"

In reality, of course, he was checking to see if the living quarters were decent enough to house this maniac, and if they were secure enough to contain him. One of the little girls, fortunately, was wonderful and fast at that sort of domestic activity, and while she made the bed, she also picked up all of the dust and rubble from the bottom of the cave. He gave her a badge for telekinesis right there and then, and was extremely surprised that she didn't already have one.

Then, he heard the madman's voice.

"Hey! Where am I? And WHAT AM I DOING IN BUNNY SLIPPERS!"

"You have to understand, darling, that you aren't sane. The high concentration of psitanium in this room is the only thing keeping you from switching between your janitor, oarsman, and cook personalities."

"What, are you tryin' to brainwash me or somethin'? I'm the Head of the World Psychonauts Organization, and they'll be here to rescue me soon enough."

"No, you're insane. You got in a psychic duel, and –"

"Duel! I was never in any duel! Except that one… but that was five years ago! My mission after that was a delegation to Italy to talk about new training methods! I remember it!"

"No, darling, this duel was a couple of weeks ago. You don't remember it because your mind was shattered, but you are now, in the eyes of the Psychonauts, insane."

"And Truman Zanotto is Head," Sasha added.

"Well, they don't seem to be doing that well without me. That guy Zanotto, he was one of the best Psychonauts there ever was, but he doesn't have enough experience on organizing people!"

"Yes, we know, darling, but you aren't exactly in the right condition to be Head right now. Plus, he learns quickly. He'll get the hang of it. The first month or so is always the hardest."

That was Milla. Milla the kindhearted, Milla the optimistic, Milla the goddess…

Then he realized that both Milla and ford were staring at him. A smile grew around Milla's face, and she flung herself at him, hugging him.

_Milla the energetic,_ she added, still smiling. Now Ford was staring at the two of them.

"You two can snuggle later. For right now, WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING IN BUNNY SLIPPERS!"

Milla released Sasha. "We told you, darling, you aren't sane right now. We'll be working hard to fix that, but all we can do right now is just keep you in the middle of all this psitanium. I'm leaving now, though. All the psitanium is giving me a migrane."

She left, leaving the two guys.

"Will you be okay?"

"Me? Sure."

"Okay."

He left. Back to his lab, where they still hadn't installed a geometric tunnel entrance. If they could find that many identical tree trunks, then why couldn't they build him a square tunnel entrance?

It was one of those things that you forgot about in a matter of seconds. Now, back to his experiments…

Yeah, I think Sasha was a little to talkative in this one. He doesn't seem like the sort of person who would rally people. Or who would have a sister, for that matter.

Anyway, tell me if there's stuff wrong with it. Thanks for all the reviews!


	17. Mission

Chapter 17: Mission

Okay I'm finally brave enough to try to outline a Psychonaut mission. It's gonna be as good as I can do. The Psychonauts are secretive for a reason! (I think it's so little kids can't write accurate or similar accounts of their missions)

Cruller had finally started to fit into his surroundings. The real Cruller had found an effective way to keep his alternate personalities in check. Simple enough. Life consisted of mainly experiments and coffee for about a week.

Then.

"Sasha, darling, we have a mission! Get some food, Sasha, you look half-starved, then get packed because we finally have a formal assignment!"

Milla's tone, of course, was excited and happy. It was just a mission. He would have thought that she'd be all mission'd out by now. Apparently, she wasn't.

He got a burger, changed into his Psychonaut uniform, and packed his other Psychonaut uniform and two boxes of cigarettes. He had no way of knowing how long the mission was going to be, and if Milla threw one of the boxes into the lake, like last time, it was nice to know that he'd still be covered.

Milla, of course, just because she was Milla, didn't throw them into the lake. She had done some thinking on that and instead stole them while he wasn't looking and threw them into a dumpster when they got off. She made sure he saw that.

_The next day, in a long-forgotten warehouse_

_I'll go up and search, darling. You stay here and cover me._

_Okay._

Of course, she sensed his headache.

_Still having withdrawal symptoms?_

_Yep._

_Well, too bad, darling._

And she drifted slowly to the top of the warehouse. Invisibly, of course.

They didn't know that the criminals that they were trying so hard to get were psychic.

With a yell, Milla turned visible. Her concentration was broken, and she recovered it just in time to save herself and Sasha.

She was, however, lying on top of him.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, darling," she said, but he could tell that she was trying her hardest to keep from laughing.

It might have been funny if they weren't on a mission.

The easiest way to capture someone was, of course, to stare in their general direction and yell out that you knew where they were. Sasha didn't prefer that way. He had another way that he favored.

_Milla, run over to the far door and project yourself running to the other one._

_But, darling, ---_

_Just do it, Milla. No time to explain._

She did. Anyone could detect _her_, but _Sasha_…

He grabbed one person and the other zoomed to the door on the other side of the warehouse.

Milla caught him.

They two were taken in for questioning.

_Later, in an airplane heading to Psychonauts HQ_

"Why did you steal… whoa, twenty pounds of Psitanium from Whispering Rock?

"We didn't steal it. If we take dirt from a park, is that theft?"

"It depends on whether it's a sufficient amount of dirt or not, darling."

"Well, your little park is full of psitanium! What's so wrong with taking a tiny bit?"

"Sasha, darling, that question was for you. I saw you memorizing all of that stuff on the plane."

"You have been charged for theft, possession of hazardous chemicals, and attempted murder."

"What! We didn't murder nobody!"

"You attempted to shoot my partner, Milla, out of the air. If she were less skilled than she is, she would have either broken several of her bones or died."

Milla remembered something. He could feel it. Sure enough, in a very small fraction of a second…

"Oh! And unless you can present us with a Psychic Practices permit, you'll be taken to jail no matter whether you did or didn't steal that Psitanium."

"You have the right to know that your thoughts will now be closely monitored." He had said that, of course. Milla always forgot important details like that.

"Uh, it's at home."

"He's lying, Milla."

"If you can't present it here and now, darling, we still have to arrest you."

"Uh…"

"He never earned it, Milla." Then, turning to the woman who had acted as an accomplice, they questioned her.

"Do you have your permit, darling?"

"Milla, by regulations, you always have to tell them that their thoughts are monitored."

"Oh. I thought we could just let her assume that." Turning back to the woman, she said, "Your thoughts will be monitored until you finish answering some questions. Do you have a Psychic Practices permit, darling?"

"No, I don't. What's it to you?"

"Well, to me it means you'll be locked up, to Sasha here it means that justice will be done, and in the insensitive eyes of the Psychonautics Corps, it means the same thing. Now, if you would kindly tell us where you hid the psitanium?"

"No."

"She's… resisting, Milla."

"I'll help."

He felt her helping him past the woman's armored mind. Inside of the shield, it was all a jumble. The surface thoughts were clear, though. They both pulled out of her mind.

"Okay, darling, you just stay here. The pilot will take you to Psychonauts HQ, where you will be taken to their prison and kept behind mental bars."

Again, she had forgotten an extremely important detail. "You brought the twine?"

"I thought you did, darling. Oh, well, there's usually some over in this little cupboard over here…"

And she found twine.

As the two bound the hands of their captives, they were both thinking of how best to get to the back alley where the psitanium was hidden.

As they floated out of the jet, Milla said, "I think we should go there, get ready to shield, take the bag, and get out of there by levitation."

"Milla, it can't be that simple. They've probably hidden it, or locked it up, or something."

"Apparently, you saw deeper than I did, darling. Do tell."

sigh "Milla, I don't have time to deal with this."

"Too bad, darling, because if you want to do it your way, I'm not going to follow. This is our mission, and we have to work with what we know."

"Milla?"

"Yes, Sasha?"

"That guy behind you is getting ready to throw a stick at you."

She put up her shield.

"Thank you, darling."

"Mmh."

They proceeded to run and shield their way through, and Milla was, as always, perfectly correct. They recovered the bag of Psitanium, got back in the jet, then went to Whispering Rock (it was closer than PHQ) and replanted the psitanium, then took the criminals to the prison at Headquarters. Or, near Headquarters. Whatever. Sasha just wanted to get back to the exact sciences of his lab.

Milla saves the day once again, Sasha is his weird self (I hope – please tell me if anyone's out of character) and I finally tried doing a Psychonaut mission. Plus, I explained one of Milla's memories. Again, FUNNESS!


	18. The End

Chapter 18: The Story Closes

Meaning that I don't have any more ideas. I've gotten them to summer camp, given them a mission, gotten Cruller into Whispering Rock, and don't have anything else to put in. If anyone has a good idea for another chapter, please tell me, and I'll change this chapter (the end of it) and add that new idea on. Or I might relate it to my next story. I have big plans for Raz and Lili!

Last disclaimer (probably) of the story: I don't own Tupperware.

Whispering Rock was silent. There was no more construction, no children running around anywhere, and no image of Cruller in the boathouse. Milla was out catching fireflies, or something like that. He walked to the edge of the lake.

Sasha raised a shell-and-bone horn to his lips and blew on it. It rang out over the lake.

Suddenly, the calm waters began to bubble.

A light shone beneath the surface.

A lumpy, tan mass with eyes and long teeth rose from the once-peaceful lake.

It spoke in a voice that was deep for a woman, and kind of gravelly.

"Why did you summon me, tall, angular human?"

He hated it when Linda called him that.

"How to I impress a girl?"

"Make her a nice, comfortable mucous-lined bubble. May I go now?"

"No. I want to know how, besides references to fish."

"You don't think she'd like a bubble?"

"No. I respect that your people, and their perception of 'comfortable,' but I need to know how to impress a human girl."

"Chocolate."

The deformed lungfish walked back into the lake where, from the nice hat she was wearing, she was having a nice date with Sam Pokeylope.

He sat on the docks and thought about Milla. They'd gotten in another little fight. She was mad at him for experimenting on the children (not that it had done him any good) and had screeched at him. She had almost ripped through his shield, too, but 'ranger' Cruller had yelled at them, so… Baisically, he needed to make it up to her. Without giving up his experiments, of course.

Somehow, he didn't think it was the kind of thing that chocolate would solve.

He blew on the horn again. Linda was exasperated this time.

"What _is_ it, angular human?"

"If Milla and I had a really big fight, how would I make it up to her? Chocolate won't solve this."

"Do something nice for her. Cook, or something. Is that all? Sam caught me a nice fish, and it's probably warm by now."

He winced at the idea of eating raw fish that a turtle had caught in his jaws. "Yes, Linda. I'll let you be."

"Thank you, Sasha."

Now to figure out what to do.

_The next day, but time is way longer when you feel icky, so it had felt like two or three days, or maybe even a week._

"Milla, I want to tell you that I'm sorry, and… I made you a bracelet and earrings."

He held them up. The earrings levitated just above his hands, the bracelet a bit farther up.

"Oh, Sasha, they're beautiful! But… you didn't have o do that!"

He smiled. "Linda said I should do something to impress you, so I made these for you. They're psitanium, and I loaded them with levitation energy when I finished them. It should wear out in a month or two, so just ask me if they start dropping."

"Oh, Sasha, I don't know what to say!" She may not have know what to say, but she definitely knew what to do. She squeezed him like she wanted to force his arms off. The jewelry clattered to the floor.

When she was done, she started trying to put them on.

"No, see, there's a little bar in each of them, and if you poke it hard enough, it comes out. Then there's less energy concentration, and you should be able to put them on." As he said this, he put the jewelry on her.

She was a little surprised when she felt the earring clasp, but she'd adjust. She loved the jewelry so much, and there was no possible way to have an allergic reaction to any of the materials, since she wouldn't even be touching any of them. He'd even made them bright. He'd asked some of the refugee girls about the colors, of course, because a year ago, when he and Milla had first gone on a mission, he had gone through her mind. Her mental world had made him permanently colorblind.

So he'd asked some of the little girls which colors were brightest.

They had chosen neon yellow and bright green. Then he had just had to paint the psitanium. He had tested it all first, of course, on the girls. They all loved it, so he had given the jewelry to Milla.

He was happy that she was happy, and they went to the main lodge to get cookies.

Or rather, for Milla to get a cookie. Sasha wasn't really a fan of American desserts. They were nothing compared to the ones in Germany.

He and Milla went back to his lab, where they talked about stuff for an hour or so. Eventually Milla drifted to sleep. _She seems to drift everywhere,_ he thought. Milla smiled in her sleep. She was so beautiful.

About two hours later, he had finally fallen asleep. He had read for about an hour, he had gone jogging, he had just lain down with the light off, everything. When he got bored of that, he went out to jog again and found out that it was morning. He went to check on Milla.

She wasn't there.

He looked at his clock.

Then he laughed at himself. Milla being the early-rising morning person that she was, she wouldn't have the patience to just sit around until 10:36.

He got dressed and walked up the stairs. It might be nice to have breakfast today.

After breakfast, he went to find Milla.

He went to the docks, and saw that the trapdoor of her lab was open. Her lab had once belonged to a scientist. That scientist was enthralled by fish and freshwater life. Milla had, of course, taken the underwater tank as her lab/bedroom. Today, he went down there.

"What do you think, darling?"

She was staring at one of the huge lava lamps in her room.

"I think it looks like one of your lava lamps."

She turned around, and he noticed that she was wearing the earrings. And the bracelet.

"No, darling, what do you think is _wrong_ with it? See, there are a bunch of little bubbles in it. I never understood why that happened."

"Maybe it's at a different temperature from the others."

He felt the lamp in question with his right hand, then felt one of the other lamps with his left. If he hadn't been wearing gloves, he wouldn't have been able to stand the intense heat that was needed to heat lava lamps of that size.

"It's a lot hotter than the others. Maybe you should turn it off for now."

"Okay, Sasha, darling. Oh, um, do you want a chair?"

She floated a large pillow, about the size of a small beanbag chair, towards him. He sat down.

"So, you got up when?"

"10:35. I went to the main lodge and had breakfast and coffee, then I went looking for you."

"Oh. Most of the time, when it's morning, I like to be out on the docks, darling. Then I have lunch, and in the afternoon, that's when you can't tell where I am. It's easy to know where I'm not, though, darling."

"Huh?"

"In the psitanium cave. My mind echoes in there, Sasha. It is _not_ a pleasant experience."

"Oh. I, uh, didn't know that."

She smiled at him. "That's because I didn't tell you, darling."

"Oh."

"Anyway, do you want to go on a picnic for lunch?"

"Uh, sure."

The conversation went on like that, Sasha went back to his lab, and at about 1:00, Milla came down to the bottom of his lab, startling him, which wasn't good because he was pouring a solution of psitanium powder and water into a mixture of chemicals that was contained in a little metal contraption that, to anyone else, would have looked like a saucepan.

When he was done, he was mad.

"Milla, I was pouring hazardous chemicals into other chemicals, which could have had any reaction!"

"So you poured them into a saucepan?"

"It isn't a saucepan!"

"Oh, no, you're right, darling. It's a saucepan with a little lock on it, and you installed a thermometer and a timer onto it."

She was frustrating.

"So, are we going on a picnic or not?"

"In a minute."

He opened the lock and found that the chemicals were just about to bubble over, which would be really, really bad, so he transferred half the solution to an equally strange container.

"That looks like Tupperware."

"Well, it isn't, Milla."

"Okay! No need to be so touchy, darling. It's your own fault, you know, because –"

"Shh! It's about to react. I need complete silence."

Milla was silent. He had finished the experiment and contained the resulting crystals, and had thought Milla had left, when he heard a whispered "Can I talk now, darling?" from behind him.

"Yes, Milla, you can talk now."

"Then let's go on a picnic."

"Okay. Let me wash my hands."

The picnic was fun, and they spent several years together, on and off. Eventually, one day, a boy called Raz infiltrated the heavily guarded walls of Whispering Rock. This is where the story ends and you go to Can and Can't Change, because no story ends at the end. There is always more than "Happily Ever After."

Good ending? I write fantasy stories, if you can't tell, and I'm gonna start a blog where I put them up.

Please review! Remember, if you have a really good idea for another chapter, I'll either add to this story, or put it in another one.


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